Learning
about my father’s family was a huge stride in
trying to understand him. And I did have
a big need to understand him.
Grandma’s
stories about Dad’s childhood gave me insight into his early struggles in
life. Spending as much time as I did with my aunts and uncles told me even more about
the family I was born into. But
something was missing.
I’d
never seen my grandfather, to my recollection.
What
role did Dad’s father play in making him the man he was? The man who had to drink, who couldn’t sleep
more than a couple of hours at a time, who worked hard to help take care of his
family. A man who so wanted to have a
normal life, a home for his wife and children, while at the same time ruining the very life he wanted.
There
was no way when I was a child that I could have put together a kind
of character profile or synopsis of the life of my paternal grandparents. It remained a mystery to me. When my grandfather Frank showed up on Sander
Street when I was 12 years old, watching him through the living room window
only added more to the mystery.
I had
heard some, but not enough. Now there he
was standing on my sidewalk. Why could
he not come in our house? Why was
Grandma hiding with me behind the window?
Why was my father so nervous, and why did he come in and literally beg
Grandma to come out and see her long-ago husband?
Grandma
wouldn’t go out of course. “I told you,
Raymond, I never wanted to see him again.”
If she
was angry at Dad for allowing the man to come to our house, she didn’t act
it. I think she rather enjoyed seeing
him from a distance, though she did not want him to see her. Was this some kind of closure for her?
I would
have given anything to break loose of Grandma’s hand on my arm, to run out the
door and down the long wooden porch to stand up close to the man who was my
grandfather. I would have watched and
listed to the interaction between my own father and his father. I wanted to know how they felt about each other, if they loved each other. He'd come to see us, hadn't he? Did that mean he cared? Did this stranger who was my grandfather care about me, his first grandchild? And my sisters and cousins? He wasn’t allowed to see us, so how could I know.
I was
old enough to understand this was a form of punishment for my grandfather. His family felt he didn't deserve a regular visit. He’d failed in the worst way. Once again it was my father who had
the burden of dealing with the situation.
Just like he’d had to throw his father out of the house so many years
ago, now he had to deal with his return.
He had to protect his family from his own father again. It was easy to see my father was not happy in this role.
That was
the first and last time I saw my grandfather Frank. I’m not sure if it was the last time for my
father and Uncle Norb, who had also stood on the sidewalk that night with his
father. I just know Frank Bernard Dean died
shortly after that night. I’m positive
it was the last time Grandma saw him.
She did not go to the funeral, nor did either of her daughters. My mother and father, and Uncle Norb and Aunt
Vera all went. I was certainly not
allowed to attend, though I pleaded with Mom and Dad to let me. It was Grandma who decided my fate,
however. I believe Dad would have taken
me with them had Grandma let him. She
came and watched me, my sisters, and cousins, the day of the funeral.
From
that time on, at various times my curiosity resurfaced and then lay dormant for long stretches of time. I never anticipated I would find anything more about my
grandfather. I never intended to really. It just happened.
I picked
at shreds of information over the last few years and then just let it be for a
while. I finally gave up diligently seeking and dabbled with research off and on. Then it took on a life of its own.
Revelations appeared when least expected. I began feeling like I was meant to discover
the story, find the answers to the long-held questions.
In the
process, I discovered my family history, my ancestors, and then slowly the pieces all came together to knit a
story.
I’d
already been writing, small pieces here and there, a chapter for a nonfiction
book, an online guest blog, so I knew I had to write this family story.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Frank & Clara
A year before my paternal grandparents, Frank Dean and Clara Wehrle, were married, Frank Bernard Dean joined the ranks of
the Ohio Soldiers, fighting World War One, serving as a Private in the 10th
Company Pensacola Coast Artillery Corps at Fort Barrancas, Florida.
Ohio Military Men,
1917-18 Frank B. Dean
|
Frank
was awarded an honorable discharge on March 22, 1919, and one month later, on
May 7, 1919, he married my grandmother, Clara Wehrle.
Frank’s
address at the time of his marriage was 314 Main Avenue, Elmwood Place.
Clara
Wehrle’s address was 1216 Poplar Street, Cincinnati, in Over-the-Rhine. The Williams Cincinnati Directory in 1919
lists Joseph Wehrle, Clara’s father, a “laborer,” living at the same address on
Poplar Street. Clara was living at home
with her family when she married my Grandfather Frank.
Clara Wehrle, Probably as a Bride in 1919
|
The
above photo, from my Aunt Dot’s collection, was likely taken for a special
occasion. The white dress shoes, or boots,
and white embellished dress tell me this was probably one of my Grandma’s
photos taken the day of her wedding to Frank.
I would imagine, knowing my grandmother like I did, that any pictures
including my grandfather would have been either destroyed or given back to him after
he left.
Frank
was 21 years of age on December 23rd, 1918.
His occupation then was woodworker.
Clara, age 23, was working as a "Box Maker," or "Marker." The handwriting is not clear, nor is the document. For the actual book, the record will be enlarged to full page size, which is easier to read.
This document was the missing link to finding my grandfather online. Frank's parents are recorded as John Dean and Nellie Cramer. With that information, I was able to find records for both of them, which led to records for their parents, meaning Frank's grandparents, both paternal and maternal.
I'd already discovered Grandma Clara's parents and grandparents.
Chapter 5 will be "The Deans and the Cramers," and Chapter 6," The Wehrles."
Stay tuned also for an updated Table of Contents. We're getting close to finishing.
Clara, age 23, was working as a "Box Maker," or "Marker." The handwriting is not clear, nor is the document. For the actual book, the record will be enlarged to full page size, which is easier to read.
This document was the missing link to finding my grandfather online. Frank's parents are recorded as John Dean and Nellie Cramer. With that information, I was able to find records for both of them, which led to records for their parents, meaning Frank's grandparents, both paternal and maternal.
I'd already discovered Grandma Clara's parents and grandparents.
Chapter 5 will be "The Deans and the Cramers," and Chapter 6," The Wehrles."
Stay tuned also for an updated Table of Contents. We're getting close to finishing.
I really like your narration of the scene from behind the window pane. I wish I had something like that to draw upon for the memoir I am writing. I think you are doing yours in the right order because you had some common experiences with your parents and grandparents.
ReplyDeleteSince mine is more of an exploration working down two generations from my husband's great grandfather to his father, trying to find the common threads woven into the fabric of the family, my approach has to be different. But you have done some very fine work here!
Thank you, Debra. That means a lot, coming from you, since I admired your work so much. Writing this is a lot harder than I anticipated, and I'm never sure I'm doing it the best way. Thanks again.
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